Perks of being a upsc ‘failure’

It's past midnight, and I find myself lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, feeling like I've just been hit by a freight train of disappointment. I had travelled to my uncle's place in Gurgaon after taking the upsc exam in Delhi, only to realise, thanks to the answer key, that I hadn't made the cut. The shockwaves of this realisation reverberated through my entire being. Two years of 15-hour study days, sleepless nights, and isolation in Old Rajinder Nagar and it has all come crashing down. I hadn't succeeded. At the time, it felt like the end of the world but little did I know, it was far from it. 

Now, I know the title of this article might raise a few eyebrows - "Perks of being a failure”. It sounds paradoxical, doesn't it? Hear me out.

For the longest time, upsc had been the be-all and end-all of my life. I had started preparing for it when I was a mere 15 year old, long before I was even eligible to attempt the exam. I was already pouring over GK books. Over the course of a decade, I invested my time and energy into chasing the dream of getting into the coveted IAS.

There was no Plan B for me. My choice of graduation was influenced solely by upsc, and I believed my degree wouldn't lead to any other job prospects. I left college at 19 to relocate to Delhi for coaching. The idea of not succeeding in upsc was terrifying, not just because I was passionate about the things I could do being in that position,

But also the way I had tied my self-worth to this pursuit.

However, through those years of relentless preparation, I unknowingly honed a set of skills that would prove invaluable in various aspects of my life. I learned to work long hours with unwavering focus, break down complex problems into manageable parts, consider multiple perspectives, and approach issues with neutrality. I developed the ability to connect the dots, see the bigger picture, and generate solutions where you can see none. I imbibed the ability to look at the world critically. Coping with immense stress from myself and society became a routine. I learned to bounce back from failures year after year.

For us aspirants, these are not skills limited to a particular job; they are life skills that make us stand out in any field. They have been instilled in us without us even realising it. It's not just the vast knowledge we accumulate but the intangible life skills that truly matter.

Despite not clearing the upsc exam, we are far from starting over.

Needless to say, I did not think like this during my preparation days.

After failing to clear upsc, I initially felt disoriented and lacked confidence. However, I eventually found my way into the development sector. I enrolled in the Indian School of Development Management to acquire new skills. Surprisingly, the qualities I had developed during my upsc journey began to shine. Even though what I did had nothing to do with upsc, those life skills set me apart in college and at work. I even aced my job interview by emphasising how those five years shaped me regardless of my results.

What once felt like a burden became my secret weapon. Who would have thought?

This article may seem clickbaity, but I wanted to share this because reading something like this would have meant the world to me two years ago. Society often celebrates toppers while overlooking the countless individuals who don't make the cut. Out of approximately 10 lakh aspirants, only around 800 succeed each year. What happens to the rest of us, the 9,99,200? This article is for them, for the 24-year-old me who lay on the hall floor feeling defeated. I want you to know that it's not the end; it's just the beginning of a different, unexpected journey filled with opportunities you’ve never imagined.